


the loudest silence

by LadyCharity



Category: The Avengers (2012), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Epistolary, Gen, Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, Loki Feels, Norse Bro Feels, Plot Twist, Post-Movie, Protective!Thor, Regret, Snarky Loki, Thor Feels, there is nothing happy in here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-09
Updated: 2012-11-09
Packaged: 2017-11-18 08:00:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/558664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyCharity/pseuds/LadyCharity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An exchange of letters between Loki and Thor during Loki's imprisonment in Asgard after the invasion of New York City leading up to a Loki's judgment that comes at a horrible twist and price.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the loudest silence

**Author's Note:**

> Written by my older sister for my past birthday :')

_—Loki. Here, a quill and parchment. We can converse this way. Are you all right?_

_—You need to get nourishment into your body. They won’t let me see you, but I see the returned plates. I’ve brewed it with your favorite mead—brother, you must eat. You can’t suffer like this._

My dear, unfortunate brother:

You’re right; how thoughtless of me. Anyone can wolf down a nice Rosette biscuit with a metal claw fastened over his mouth. Excuse me while I unlock this trap and rip my face in the process…there are chocolates to be eaten.

Haven’t you gotten through your skull that they send these dishes to torment me? I’ve made the gods very, very angry, and rightly so, as the most harmless comment might reduce the self-confidence of even the best deities to ashes. Odin isn’t pleased about that invading-the-Earth thing, and the council less so. They aren’t likely to feed me those racks of lamb, but if it will make you feel better, I can rip up some meat with my hands. Then you can imagine I ate and feel at peace and dream about hopping it up with Jane.

Have fun tomorrow lifting planets. Careful, that big hammer might get hefty if you let yourself slack.

Loki

— _Loki, please write back. Don’t lose hope. I have been arguing with Father all of last night for your freedom. You’ve done wrong, and frankly, I feel that it’s best if we took your powers for the being. But if I can shorten your sentence from the length of eternity, I will do it. I swear to you._

Unfortunate brother:

Why, I believe we’re at a miscommunication. I do write back. But to have this sheet of paper bridge past the prison door…well, that takes a moment’s too much effort. So what about I keep it right here? It matches nicely with my dried vomit.

Martyr as you are, this cell is quite comfortable. I only get tortured by the guard twice a day, when all of you are busy having jolly mace-twirling contests and can’t hear. They force me to the corner and murmur of my Frost-Giant background. They smear their fingers down my skin; they brand me with fire and wait for me to melt. So you can see I’m a regular riot. They don’t let me forget who I am. That’s important in life, big brother. You’re the golden child. The halo of the Asgard. I think you’ve forgotten this.

Loki

_—I know you’re awake. I can hear you breathing, Loki. Why won’t you write back? I haven’t an idea of whether you’re well. What goes on in your heart. The council is speaking of ending you, and I don’t know how to comfort you._

How would you expect me to write back if you sound like a regular lover? Now I may be reduced to holding my breath if I know you’re plastered to my cell wall, listening. It’s a good thing there’s this metal clamp. It makes screaming trickier.

As for my heart? Just a few mothballs and the occasional cricket. Your big heart is full of Jane and puffed with justice. Perhaps that’s why your appetite is agonizingly large…such a heart must fit somewhere. It beats of courage and proclamations of mercy. But should I not worry for you, brother?  A few thorns of suffering, found by surprise, will deflate a heart as yours. All that glory-air comes whooshing out, your ribs collapse, and everything you’ve known—or thought you’ve known, sinks instead into your stomach. It rips down past your sternum and you’re curled up, tears pushing against the rims of your eyes because you let yourself believe too much, and you howl for release. Howl because it might fill your heart with air again. But there’s a puncture. Holes pierced, and no matter how much air goes in, it is a cold, cold heart. It cannot beat. It cannot sound. It hangs across your ribs to dry.

So watch out for thorns.

Loki

— _I’m afraid. I can’t see how gods can die._

Thor,

Not all at once. It’s always long, always painful. Dying for us never ends.

Loki

Thor,

Do stop banging on my walls. You shout my name, but I can’t answer you. Would you like me to scratch the wall? Once for ‘yes’ and twice for ‘no?’ We’re not children. You won’t get your way, no matter what fuss you make. You won’t save me.

Loki

— _Please Loki. It’s been a week, and you haven’t spoken. Do you hate me? I would never have brought you back if I knew what they had planned for you. But you were to ruin my beloved Earth. What was I to do? What can I do? You were about to end the human race in your pain. And you would let none of us reach you. Father was proud of you; Mother was proud of you. We care for you. But you keep us away until we hear a sharp intake of breath. And then nothing._

Are you done asking yourself for forgiveness? Have you given yourself what you craved , or will you be banging on my door a few more days? I’ve a regular book of your notes. As for love and care, I am the god of lies. Let’s not get our roles confused.

— _Your execution comes in three days. I am doing everything._

Thor,

More hammer-twirling contests, I suppose. Brother, be happy with what you have. If you actually received every letter I have written to you from this forsaken cell, you’d have known me more than anyone. That’s enough, isn’t it? The potential of a bond.

If they end me, they end me. I’ve already tried falling through that cliff, remember? They’ve finally decided to humor me.

You tried hard, so big medal for you. We are almost-brothers. Blue skin, gold skin…cold and fire…it’s nice we have the walls between us. When we cannot see or hear each other, we’re nearly kin.

Loki

— _Dear Loki,_

_Forgive me if the writing is a bit unclear. I’ve taken my authority to the test, and I wanted to give you hope before I go. The council has agreed upon a trade. They think it will change you. I will take your place, because I will have it no other way. And I am the king of Asgard. Their laws for justice are unforgiving, but there is a vestige of power on the throne. It will come in two days._

There you go again. Trying to play hero. Killing the Frost Giants, now killing yourself. Does your heart feel bigger? Now give up the act and go back to your scepter. I will rot happily in here, thank you.

_—They’ll free you soon. I’m writing you more notes a day, but please be patient with me. I want to pretend that we are speaking, even if you haven’t read a word. My heart is glad._

Your sincerity amuses me, but they cannot kill you. They will not kill you, the golden child. Never has the sun drowned for the monsters at night.

— _Just  a few hours, but I am at peace. Will you take care of our mother, Loki? That is one of the few things that worries me. And Jane. I nearly renounced my choice when I thought of her, but she is not blood. We are, and I will give myself for you._

Thor, stop this. Here, I’ve finally decided to slip something underneath the door. That should please you. Now go back to the Council and tell them you’ve changed your mind.

_—It won’t hurt. I don’t know why I’m writing this. Haven’t the slightest clue of what it means to fall to darkness. It makes me glad that you probably aren’t reading this. Because now I can show you the coward behind my strength. Mother has begged me to reconsider, and I struck up bravery—I had to lie like you. I told her that it is my wish and a kingly duty, brushed her off, ignored her tears. Waved her aside as Father collected her away. She had collapsed in Father’s arms, dress trailing through the dirt, and I have looked coolly into both their faces. But in truth, I am frightened, Loki._

Look down. LOOK DOWN. Do you not see my words? Have you been so engrossed by yourself! Stop your dramatic endeavor. You are pathetic. Do not die for me, king of Asgard, do not shame our entire lineage in this way. And even should you free me, why would I come out? My spirit is spent.

_—I love you, Loki._

Don’t. Please.

~

He rams his fists against the stone wall. His mouth locked by metal teeth, but the deflated heart screams Thor’s name. The notes were forgotten, the notes are his brother, and he was going to die for him. Loki presses his being into the wall, he imagines dissolving into the rock and emerging to stop him before it’s too late. A plea, an insult, a thousand words pound against the silver dam, squeezed through his teeth…

Loudest of all, a sob.

Thor. 


End file.
